Blogging the NBA Lottery

• Yes the draft lottery 
• Wow a watching party at C-Webb's restaurant - Sacramento really is boring.
• Jay Bilas - Hasheem Thabeet can block shots - great insight
• Rubio will be good - really good- calling it now. 
• Did USC pay DeMar Derozan too?
  
• short break - do they ever say long breaks? "We'll be back in like 4 minutes, go ahead and go to the bathroom, make a sandwich, you won't miss anything."
• Joel Litvin giving the explanation of the ball machine. 
• Does Joel Litvin work at a mortuary?
• That Heineken commercial is on with the cab driver singing - they should make a radio station of songs that no one knows but people like that are on commercials.
• Martin Shannon has the envelopes. 
• Could their honestly be more of a lame quasi sporting event ever?
• Eminem AND Mike Tyson on Jimmy Kimmel
• Most underrated talk show since I have been alive, way better than Leno or Letterman, yet not the viewership. Tragic really.
• Anyone else semi tempted to call those numbers where you can get foreclosed cars?
• good run down of the successful number 1 picks. 
• Lisa Salters introducing the representatives. 
• Allan Houston is representing the Knicks, brought Reggie Jackson, that will help. Maybe he can pose after the Knicks get the 9th pick. 
• Flip Saunders would be happy with a good player, good insight Flip. 
• DAMNIT Suns don't move up. 
• This is so unentertaining. 
• Does that guy have to interject everytime he says something?
• Things in order so far. Stern can't have rigged it like this.
• C-Webb just called a timeout.
• Commercial break for more drama,. 
• Heineken song has just surpassed the iPod commercials with the colors as the most popular song  no one knows who sings. 
• Nice! Sound problem!
• OKC goes 3.
• 2...Memphis Grizzlies. 
• Most disappointed person the world = Blake Griffin. 
• Salters has another awkward interview.
• Was Mark Jones on the Cosby show?
• Wow the Clippers lineup is awful. 
• oh and Blake Griffin won't make it better. 

Thoughts

• Although they changed the name of "Burma" to "Myanmar" in 1989 they really ought to have changed the name of "Burma" to "Myanmar, formerly known as Burma" because everyone actually calls it that. 
• Brad Childress, the head coach for the Minnesota Vikings officially has a new nick name: Brad "weird high school science teacher who had that awkward relationship with that overly developed girl after she graduated" Childress

Things that need to go away (Part 2)

• Jean shorts; I don't really need to say anything about these, I mean just awful, take them off, like drop your pants on the spot. Going pantsless is better than jean shorts.
• The phrase "man card." For those unfamiliar, a "man card" is basically your right to be a "man" however it is only used really when it is being taken away. Example: "If you use that lavender body wash, I will have to take away your man card." Oh my God, shut up. It's just so stupid. Plus only people who are insecure in their own manhood ever try to take it away so be cautious in your use of such a stupid, stupid phrase.
• Fleece vests. Look, Patagonia is cool and all but you look like a jack ass.
• People who use the handicapped door automatic button who are not a) handicapped or b) carrying a lot of stuff or c) both. Is opening a door really that hard? You grab the handle and pull; and even if it is a push door. That is even easier. You can basically keep walking and put you're arm or foot out and you will go through the door. That is easier than the button. What has your life come to when simple tasks like that require pressing a button? I have seen handicapped people who don't even bother with the button. Are you lazy? Are you jealous of people in wheelchairs? Are you just stupid? And it's not even any of that it's that the door mechanism is slower than any possible way you could open the door yourself. It's not like it's way faster and so much better to press it, it's actually less efficient. Stop pressing the button.
  

Things that need to go away

• Bernie Madoff jokes
• OctoMom jokes
• People who call in Radio Station A or TV Station Z defending OctoMom, does anyone actually care what you think? alternatively: people who call in Radio Station A or TV Station Z condemning OctoMom, does anyone actually care what you think? don't you have better things to do then talk about some crazy woman. And it's not even that, it's like you treat it seriously. Example: someone called into CNN earlier today and was saying how awful this woman was and that the caller was a single mom of seven herself, and she successfully started a non-profit and what have you, YOU HAVE SEVEN KIDS AND A BUSINESS AND YOU HAVE TIME TO CALL INTO CNN TO PUT DOWN OCTOMOM. ITWEIDHGSA]UGJDJ;HBV. Sorry I just passed out from rage and fell on my keyboard.
  
• Grownups typin lik ths whn they try 2 txt u; seriously just type the words, it's not hard.
• Jimmy Fallon's talk show, I watched like 3 minutes last night. Holy cow was that awful. Not even the audience laughed. I think ?uestlove was about to throw his drumstick at him.
  

Obama's Address to Congress

• Blah blah economy, blah blah jobs.
• I set the over/for applause breaks at 24. I took the over. It's currently 7:48pm mst. We are at 25.
• Blah blah healthcare.
  
• Pelosi needs to sit down, she stands up like every 46 seconds.
• Education is awesome.
• Orrin Hatch is from Utah!
• 7:51pm mst = 29 applause breaks.
  
• Obama 1; Bush 0
• What the hell is an earmark anyway?
• Yup, he just mentioned Iraq.
• Pelosi is up again. And it's not just standing up. It's like she is on a trampoline. Or think this, it's like she is the teacher and just sat on a thumb tack.
  
• Blah blah, tax cuts, blah blah.
• I am tired of American Flag Pins as an institution.
  
• Iraq count: 2
• It's nice to see a president who can pronounce Middle Eastern countries correctly.
• Obligatory "We support the troops" drop
• The MSNBC audience reaction thing is going to blow up.
• Blah, blah terrorism
• WOW! EQUIVOCATION! HE SAID EQUIVOCATION! that is a 12 letter word, 12!
  
• Blah blah, hope, blah blah inspiration, blah blah banking guy who gave away his money.
• Who cares about Greenville, TX? Oh, wait, it's an inspirational story.
• Obscure town reference 2: Dylan, SC
• Who actually wants to become a lawyer or a doctor? Is that still a thing?
• Michelle is hugging that girl.
• God Bless America.
• Applause Breaks final: 39
• Now he is trying to get out of the chambers, what an uphill battle.
  
• How many handshakes do you think had tonight? I guess 3424
• Now he is signing autographs.
• Do you think Michelle and Barack can get a celebrity couple name like Brangelina, or Tomkat? Barchelle? Michack? I could see this catching on.
• I like that the camera is still rolling in the chambers. There are like 12 people left. Is that interesting?
• Oh wait now they cut to Baton Rouge.

• Governer Jindal's response.

• Could this guy get any more cheesy? I think I watched him on a PBS kids special once.
• Do you think he really is excited by supermarkets?
• You totally care what party your constituants are, you wouldn't be there if they weren't Republican.
• Story time.
• What an awful story.
• This is the best the GOP has to offer?
• Trillion... trillion... where have I heard that number before, oh wait, the Iraq war.
• Yeah let's not monitor volcanoes, science is over rated. So is the safety for the people who live by volcanoes.
  
• LARGEST INCOME TAX CUT IN THE HISTORY OF THE COUNTRY! WOW!
• Isn't Louisiana like the most corrupt state in the country?
• Oh wait, they passed some of the strongest ethics laws in the country. Way to nip my question in the bud.
• There he goes with that trillion again.
• And now he is talking about the troops, you can't write this stuff.
• I am glad he hates Bush as much as everyone.
• That is a nice sum up of wars and attacks.
• "The most" annoying governor in the country.
• God Bless America
• Wow, that speech was awful.
  

Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps is in hot water because he smoked marijuana. He has been suspended, he has been dropped as a sponsor from Kellogg, and he might even get arrested. I have a novel question, who cares? Look, this guy is the best Olympic swimmer ever; he is the best Olympic athlete of a generation, and arguably the best Olympic athlete ever. You honestly care that he smoked weed? Like seriously, honestly? It makes me angry. He is a freaking American icon. You loved him when he was racking up hardware in Beijing and now he smokes a little weed and he is getting dropped kicked? He is freaking 23 years old; he has been swimming at an Olympic level since he was 15. Fifteen. First off, isn't he allowed to screw up? He is a kid who didn't get a chance to be a kid.

Here's another news flash: kids smoke weed. He is just doing what every other 23 year old is doing.

And second of all, did he even screw up? Last time I checked, the Olympics are an international event. Look here. That is like half of the freaking world where cannabis is legal or decriminalized. Smoking marijuana is no worse for anybody than smoking tobacco. Everyone has heard that argument. Don't get me started on drug liberalization. (I will rant about that later). But I mean it’s not a big deal, it really isn't. Phelps got lit. Who cares? The only argument I really buy is the de facto illegality of it. He broke the law in South Carolina. Okay, you got me there, but honestly how many people smoke weed in SC, Wikipedia says there is 4,479,800 people in South Carolina. What's the over/under on how many people smoke pot? 500,000? I would take the over in about 4 seconds. Not to mention he was at a party at the University of South Carolina. A freaking house party on a college campus. Yeah no one ever smokes weed there.

His DUI was 764 times worse and who talked about that during the Olympics in China? No one. Oh wait he was winning gold medals in China.

And Kellogg? Seriously Kellogg? His image is so tarnished that he can't hock your Corn Flakes any more? Who is going to go to the grocery store, pick up a box of cereal with the intent to drop it the cart, look at Phelp's noggin on the box and say to themselves, "Wait he smoked marijuana, I better put this back." It makes me sick. Oh and by the way Kellogg, stoners love Frosted Flakes and Eggo waffles, so I would actually run with this.

Here is to not caring if Michael Phelps or anyone else goes to a party, gets lit, and has a good time.

Super Bowl Pick

I don't know if you have heard about this, but there is a big game coming up on Sunday February 1st. It's called the Super Bowl and it matches the Pittsburgh Steelers with the Arizona Cardinals in Tampa, Florida.

Lines current as of 5:00p mst on Sunday January 29th, 2009 and from oddsmaker.com

Steelers (-7) vs Cardinals

For all intents and purposes the Steelers should win this game. They have more experience and a tougher defense, they have won a Super Bowl before (several in fact), the Cardinals on the other hand are on a Cub like streak of post season failure.

With two weeks of Super Bowl coverage the Cards still seem to be getting overlooked. Everyone who is picking them is only picking them because they are scared that everyone else is picking the Steelers. Everyone says "watch out for the Cardinals" but are they really even thinking that? It seems that it is just lip service. Who actually thinks they will win?

Honestly though, with how many people the Cards have shocked I am surprised the line is as high as it, I mean a touchdown favorite? Against a team that can score in bunches? Who has not once since not covered? And the Steelers are one "Troy Polamalu is a freaking stud" interception (against a rookie quarterback from Delaware) from not covering against Baltimore and a Santonio Holmes punt return touchdown (against a punter who had like the best game in the history of punters the week before) from not covering against San Diego. Doesn't Vegas have a gun to your head to take the points. How can you not? I can't really find it in my heart of hearts not to take the points.

But to my actual pick.

Look I already said the Steelers should win this game. I have picked against the Cards at every turn and they have burned me at each and every one of those. I want to take the Cardinals but I am afraid they will lose if I pick them, I want them to win because I want the Lombardi trophy to be live west of the Mississippi for the first time since 1998. I am tired of it. I want the entire western US to be vindicated in its professional football standing and for its entire reputation to be improved. Not even that, but can you imagine how many story lines would come out of the Cardinals winning this game?

• Cardinals win their first Super Bowl ever.
• Larry Fitzgerald puts on the greatest playoff performance possibly ever.
• Anquan Boldin and Todd Haley yell at each other out of joy.
• Kurt Warner rides off into the sunset as a Super Bowl champion a la John Elway.
• Ken Whisenhunt beats his former team.
• Finally offense trumps defense

Where does it end? I really do not want to ruin that by picking the Cardinals. But man I have this feeling, I have this sneaking suspicion that they just might do it. I think they will, I am totally talking myself into this pick. Do I curse the Cardinals and go with my gut? Or do I go with my other gut and take the Steelers. I haven't been this conflicted since I stole two marbles from preschool, oh screw it: Cardinals 27 Steelers 24